To those of you who have a fear of clowns, I apologize for adding one more reason to be terrified.

I mean, sure…a clown sneaking out your closet to choke you while you sleep is scary, but not as scary as a clown front-flipping over your nightstand and stabbing you to death with a balloon sword!

I guess we know who would win a fight between Ronald McDonald and the Burger King now.

I’ve posted videos of Pan-kun befor, usually on adventures with his bulldog friend but this is probably my all-time favorite.

JapanProbe.com found this episode where our chimpanzee friend learns to ride a Segway for the first time and after many high-speed hijinx occur, he successfully masters the two-wheeled vehicle.

I defy you to find another chimpanzee as cool as Pan-kun.

Now, watch him go.

Cheap labor?

Or just a brilliant idea to get customers?

I’d say it’s the latter (at least til someone gets thier nose bit off).

A restaurant in Utsunomiya, just outside of Tokyo proper has two macaque monkeys that have been trained to retrieve beer and hot towels for the patrons.

While I think this might be the greatest restaurant ever due to my love of monkeys, I can see it being a risky move given that they are wild animals and that restaurants with monkeys might be some kind of a health hazard.

You can watch the hairy waiters in action in the video below.

How would you feel about being served by primates and do you think this is a wise thing to do?

The goggles are a nice feature but that doesn’t protect him from the sharp pieces and what I’m sure is less than safe dust.

Anything to get on TV I suppose…

In this game show the object is to lure stray cats with increasing sizes of fish to see which can carry off the heaviest.

No matter how you play the game, the real winners are the cats.

This isn’t even a thought that I should be having except that it has gotten to the point that I have noticed.

As of this moment I declare that there are too many photos on the internet of asian men wearing schoolgirl costumes.

This should not be a something I have to concerm myself with but damnit, someone has to say something.

I can’t bear to see one more of these…

Stop the madness.

Only the Japanese could come up with this one.

It can power an iPod but the money you save on batteries can be used to pay the tickets from indecent exposure fines.

I do appreciate the “Going green” look though.

I wish this was a real picture.

This is a video of DJ A Ron performing at Michael Vidal Basement Lounge in Long Beach, California. I was there in 08 when this went down and it was dope. The Michael Vidal Basement Lounge in the Art district is a must stop if your in Long Beach. Check it out.