You must hear this beautiful song played by 12 lovely women.

Wait…

That’s not 12 lovely women?

It’s one man?

Oh, What the Asian?!

There is a reason that Heavy Metal never took off in Japan…

It’s this guy’s fault.

Almost as good as the video itself is the (explicit) lyrics :

Too much blood-in my bathroom-too much blood-in my room-too much blood-too much blood-

I kiss the bloody chainsaw-I kiss the bloody axe-too much blood-too much blood…

Somebody whisper in my ear

I washy my hands-over and a over-over and a over- I washy my hands-over and a over over and a ober-

I yi yi yi yi yi yi I’m-a-innocent- I yi yi yi yi yi yi I’m innocent

I was a very ordinary guy-I just a ordinary human being-

I killed him-I I-a-I-Kilt him-I washy my hands-over and a over-Oba and a oba-

I yi yi yi yi yi yi I’m innocent-I yi yi yi yi yi yi yi I’m innocent-

Too much blood! Too much Blood! Too much blood! Too much blood!

Prison ain’t shit-I never saw anything-prison ain’t shit-prison ain’t shit-he was an empty-empty soul-prison ain’t shit-prison ain’t shit

She said the moment she was born-always-prison ain’t shit

Something didn’t fit-prison ain’t shit

Tell your brother nothing-nothing-nothing-nothing-prison ain’t shit-I washy my hand-ober and a ober-

Too much blood in my batharoom-too much blaaaaaaaaaad!

Please help me-help me from my… hole

Please help me-please take my hand-I washy my hand ober and a ober-I’m fucking innocent-I’m fucking innocent!

Did you know the Chinese didn’t invent the fortune cookie?

Even though it’s served as a Chinese dessert, the fortune cookie’s actual creation is still undecided as a few Japanese have been fighting over who actually invented them. The first reports of the cookie came from the United States in the 1890s or early 1900s.

What is really funny is watching Chinese people try a Fortune Cookie for the first time.

Believe it or not this isn’t the first animated clip about potty training to be posted on this site.

I guess the Japanese are very insistent on letting cartoons teach their kids to poop.

This one is called “Pants Pankuro”…

Now if they could make a cartoon for adults teaching them to flush after using a public toilet.

Remember this unexplainable picture?

When I posted the photo it was brought to my attention that it was from a movie called “Funky Forest”. Recently a reader named Lillie sent me a link to that actual scene and I was thrilled because I thought I’d finally figure out what was going on.

Now that I’ve watched the video, I’m even more lost than before.

So now that I’ve seen it, I’m even more disturbed to know that the machine is actually a butthole that gives birth to a small asian man.

I think I’m officially done with Funky Forest.

What exactly he is rapping about is unclear since I do not speak chinese but I’m assuming it’s the Olympics due to the rings colored into his hair and his fashionable dragon-themed 2008 glasses.

Either that, or he’s rapping about the new Chinese cabs that have license plates that say fresh and also include dice in the mirror.

Teamwork.

That’s what it’s all about.

I can understand the danger of a rogue train.

There is understandable fear when you think of an out of control elevator.

An escalator on the other hand…

It’s really as simple as turning around and walking off.

But not in Japan as it seems at least 20 people were injured with one even breaking a leg. I’m pretty sure if they had a “personal space rule” it could have been avoided.

This vehicle would make divorce a lot easier.

Leave it to the Japanese to invent a car that splits in half to prevent everyday accidents involving men with microphones standing in the middle of streets.

Now this is pure energy.

Guest appearance by WWE Superstar John Cena.